[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v9CTSRg4NDk&hl=en]
A DJ played LL Cool J's Around The Way Girl at a bar on the Lower East Side last night. Girls (and a few guys) danced in the narrow aisle between tables. I sat against the wall with my husband, drinking a beer, enthusiastically, yet modestly, bopping along.

I can use a dorky phrase like 'bopping along' because - admission - I am a girl who likes the Becky Rap. When a DJ plays Sir Mix-a-lot, Slick Rick or the reigning Becky Rap song from the winter of 2004, Outkast's Hey Ya!, I will feel the urge to get on the dance floor and flail around while imagining I'm doing the running man and looking as hot as Alfonso on Silver Spoons. I don't actually know if Alfonso did the running man on Silver Spoons, which speaks to my point.

The only thing is, this DJ wasn't spinning records. He was playing mp3s and fiddling around with fake vinyl. He was using Serato, computer software that emulates manipulation of actual vinyl. Ersatz DJing.

And that's why I wasn't dancing.